The concept of divine timing never ceases to surprise me.
What I’m living right now is the perfect content for this months theme about stealing. Maybe it resonates.
The unusual personal update: I am in the unknown with my current transition to life in Italy. We landed 10 days ago, after two soothing days on the water into a port just above Rome and drove 1.5 hours north to an Airbnb on the coast of Marina Di Grosseto. A very quiet community of very kind generous hearted Italians. Life is slow. I’m the only brown person around, yet I feel like I belong.
There is a prayer, a vision, and I trust that what is meant to will unfold. In its own timing and the timing of others who are on this soul journey with me.
Which brings me to the third teaching in the Yamas, the morals and ethics of how to interact with others.
Asteya. Non stealing.
The practice of not taking what is not given or yours to take – not grasping for an outcome, not needing someone to behave a certain way. You can even steal from yourself by denying space to breathe, play, be creative or rejuvenate.
Today it has shown me something bitter sweet: my want for people to arrive somewhere faster is stealing from them! Oof.
As a guide and healer, I see the loops, patterns, next steps, potential problems and simple solutions. I see their gold and want them to know it too. Now.
But when I point the way without permission, I steal the joy of their own discovery! Sad but true. I create pressure and expectation which steals their rhythm and process, and hurries their divine timing.
As children we were all told to hurry up. And in the same way, I try to fix the mood my teen is in so dinner together is more fun, for all of us. Or push my partner to see the perspective I believe is right for him. Or try to control the amount of Nutella they are both eating! (Talking of which, that sugary spread by the Ferrero family is at every corner here. Argh.)
The point is I always believe I am doing good for their health and wellbeing. But Asteya teaches that everyone has the right to their own timing in their process with their feelings and emotions (and diet!) and simply put, it is none of my business.
It’s a subtle change in perspective and a profound change in impact. I am more patient and compassionate because I am not responsible for fixing the situation. There’s a lightness that comes with it, one I’m getting used to. Like putting down something I didn’t realise I was carrying. What a gift. I love these timeless teachings!
So what does Asteya look like in everyday life?
- Letting the silence sit. Not filling it. Not fixing it.
- Arriving on time so you don’t steal someone’s time.
- Trusting that others have their own timing.
- Listening without already forming your reply.
- Resting without feeling like you have to earn it first.
The inner practice is small.
The outer shift is huge.
Italy gets it. La dolce vita. Less is more.
And if any of this resonates, I leave you with this:
Where in your life are you rushing someone else’s timing and what would it feel like to simply let them be?
With love in all ways
Dipika
